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INTERVIEW: Feel like I'm home

27 March 2014

Gary Madine on his loan spell

Striker Gary Madine spoke to us about his excitement at being back at Brunton Park shortly after signing his one-month loan deal with the club. 

"It's brilliant to be back," he admitted. "I'm really grateful to Kav and the club for giving me another chance. I know the club is in a bit of trouble at the moment so hopefully I can score a few goals in the next few games and help out."

On coming back to Carlisle, he said: "During my first week out of prison I wasn't sure if I was going to get sacked by Sheffield Wednesday or not, and I heard that Kav had said he would take me back if he had the chance. As soon as I was told that I was available for loan there was only one place I was going. 

"There were a few clubs who were interested and the gaffer at Sheffield Wednesday was really good with me. He told me it was up to me where I went and played. I said straight away that I wanted to come here and help out. I love the club, I get on well with Kav and it just all made sense."

"Kav has been brilliant with me," he said. "He gave me the chance to come and train here while I was suspended and I'm hoping I can repay his faith in me with a few goals. It isn't just Kav, I owe a lot to this club as well. I was here when I was 16 years old and I'd be nothing without Carlisle United. 

"I've slipped up in the past but I feel like I've grown up and I just want to put it all behind me now. I'm very different now to how I was when I left the club. I regret a lot of the things I did but I've grown up. I'm hoping I go and score on Saturday if I get a chance."

"The last 12 months have been tough for me but that's part and parcel of life," he commented. "Things happen and you've got to learn from your mistakes. I did learn a lot in prison. I had to sit and watch people scoring goals on the Football League show while I was in there wasting away. I think I was in a bit of a comfort zone before I went in but that period of time has really made me realise how good my life was. 

"I think it is easy for a young lad to be led astray but it was all my own doing. I think I let my ego get the better of me. I'm going to keep my feet on the floor now and take it from there."

"Sheffield Wednesday could have sacked me, and I could be without a club now, so I do feel like this is a second chance," he agreed. "I could have stayed there and trained but I told the manager that I'd wasted enough time. If I wasn't going to be playing there I wanted to come out and get some game time."

"Maybe going to prison was a blessing in disguise," he said. "I did get carried away with myself during my younger days. I'm hoping that's all behind me now and I've come here as a better person. 

"When you have absolutely nothing for four and a half months it does make you appreciate things more. I look back and I used to be the last one into training and the first one out. I'm doing extra bits and going in the gym a lot more now and that can only help. I had anger management sessions and addressed a few things with myself. I've had my four and a half months of rehabilitation now and I can't wait to get going again."

"I know I've done wrong," he told us. "I did the crime but it's now about Carlisle United. It isn't about Gary Madine because the vital thing is for this club to stay in the league. We need the fans to get behind all of us and be that twelfth man."

"I feel like my fitness is coming back" he continued. "I've played four under 21 games and I completed 90 minutes in two of those. I know it isn't the same level but I'm hoping, if I get the chance to play 90 minutes here, the adrenaline will get me through the game. I'll give it my all and see what happens."

"It felt good to be coming back here this morning," he revealed. "I walked into the dressing room and Thir [Paul Thirlwell] was there being as noisy as ever. It's good to see a few old faces who I've grown up with. It's put a big smile on my face coming back here. 

"I'm one of those players who likes to have an arm around me and I think Kav will give me that because he knows I'm going to give him 110%. I think everybody knows the ability is there but the problem has always been my attitude. Hopefully I can put all of that behind me because I do feel like I've grown up. 

"I was a bit nervous this morning because I think people will be expecting a lot, mostly because I've come from a Championship club. They were good nerves though and I think that's a good thing. 

"Obviously I trained under Kav earlier in the season and something he said has stuck with me since then. He says that what you give today won't be good enough tomorrow, and that's something I really like because it means you keep pushing yourself to be better. Kav's sessions are always tough because he makes sure the lads are all fit and I really enjoyed it this morning." 

"It does feel like I'm home," he said. "I had half an idea I was coming back yesterday, and I just wanted to tell everyone, but obviously you can't say anything until it's all completed. I'm just so happy to be back."

And with eight important games of the season left to play he is now just looking forward to getting on with the job. 

"All of our games will be tough," he told us. "Tranmere are in the same position as us so it's important that we pick up points. They're all cup finals now. It is a big challenge but I couldn't think of anything better than scoring seven in seven and us staying up!

"My main aim right now is to help Carlisle stay in this league but it isn't just about me. Hopefully all of the players will give 110%, like I will be, and we'll stay up. 

"If I can do that and score a couple of goals then the manager at Sheffield Wednesday will hopefully take notice and I can go back there and prove myself to him again."

"I've thought about how it will feel playing back here a lot," he admitted. "It's been running through my head and I've dreamed about a ball coming across the box and me heading it in - then I run away and kiss the badge. Hopefully that will happen soon."

United Player subscribers can see a video interview with Gary Madine now. Click HERE to go to the Player platform. Follow the same link for more information on United Player, and to subscribe.

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